Friday, May 26, 2017

Call me author!

     I've always been a strong believer of the saying, "everything happens for a reason." I whole heartedly believe that God has us all where we need to be although it may not always be where we desire to be. It's easy to have faith when everything is going according to "YOUR" plan, but true faith is entrusting God has everything under control even through trials and tribulations. For those of you that are asking why I am talking about faith when it is irrelevant to the title of this post? It's because to me it has everything to do with faith, giving credit where credit is due is one of the easiest ways to show gratitude. God has never failed me and for that I am grateful. I might not always understand God's ways but I know that if I wait and have patience he will provoke an undeniable "aha" moment.  Living up here in the middle of tall brown mountains, covered in a blanket of green trees and under an umbrella of clear blue skies surrounded by natures soundtrack, is natural inspiration desired by so many and for a multitude of reasons. What for some brings about a way to feel closer to God, nature and the important things in life, for others that same thing can be artistic inspiration, a sense of self enlightenment or the key to writers block. Who would have thought that there could be anything but happiness in paradise.  I have often found myself lost in such a serene, peaceful paradise and although in the last blog the pros outweighed the cons, it is innevetable to feel a sense that I should be doing something more. I lack the feeling of self accomplishment, I have 3 beautiful children and a handsome husband that I continue to raise successfully on a daily basis and that in itself is a beautiful feeling, but the hollow in my heart burns with an unreplaceable desire. So with the intention to fill this empty space in my heart, I unsuccessfully started my job hunt (hey don't judge me, it's a start). Turns out I live a little far from the nearest "real" city to get a full time job while not neglecting my motherly duties. The hunt for a part time job followed with no more luck than the first, the money would barely cover gas money and little profit.... I literally brainstormed every possibility and they would all lead to the same lonely, sad dead end. I felt a little defeated and desperate at times, then I reminded myself that God had me in this exact place in this particular place in my life for a reason... and I had to do my part and figure out what that reason was. Obviously a nine to five or a part time job are not the reason. God talks to us all the time, although sometimes we look for his answers to be brought down directly by "the man" or to be spelled out in the clouds, and we overlook his answers, like the little voices in our head or the signs we pass off as coincidences.

Monday, May 15, 2017

Worth it.

     I always get asked if I get depressed, because we live in the middle of a forest, truth is I'm not sure. I have always lived in one of the busiest cities in the California, so I would be lying if I said I didn't notice a difference. I admit that maybe being far away from my family and only seeing them every 2 to 3 weeks is a lot harder than I anticipated, its hard when your accustomed to getting together with the family every weekend. It's even harder when your family is loud and wild which is typical with big latin families. I can truly say we went from one extreme to another. I am pretty sure I have at one point or another been through some sort of depression. I wish we lived in a family compound.... not the cult kind. I could imagine a large piece of land with animals and houses spread out through the land, my parents and each of my siblings in their house and we could have a common room. That would be awesome. That would also be the only way that I wouldn't feel down and out every once in a while. So I guess what I am trying to say is that yes I do get sad to be away from my parents and siblings, but no more than I would any other place. If we had not decided to move out here our children would have not been able to enjoy snow days, a white Christmas, nature and animals in their natural habitat. I like that they walk into any store, bakery or gas station on the mountain and their is bound to be someone they know, a friend, principle or teacher. My kids get to live a different lifestyle than we did as we grew up. I had a good childhood, but it seems like more and more kids are getting less play time after school and more homework. They are growing up so fast and I want them to enjoy their childhood. Summer is just around the corner and swimming, tennis, basketball and all the amenities the club house offers are around the corner and a definite pro is I get a lot of reading done sitting next to the pool. We are far away from big grocery stores and malls, but with that we are also away from all the hustle and bustle of big cities. There's just a sense of tranquility that you cant get in the city. As I put the pros and cons on a balance I honestly have to say that the benefits for us in this point in our lives outweigh the cons. As for my parents and siblings, we could continue taking turns visiting each other and having the best of both worlds. What would you prefer?

Friday, May 12, 2017

Bears, bears and more bears

      Those dang diggidy bears must not have face book, I remember posting not wanting to run into any for lack of space in my "seen out my window" list. I guess they didn't read my post. It seems as though this past summer I saw the bears more often than my family, they were everywhere. I must admit, seeing a momma bear watching over her cub while he played with an apple as though it was a ball was a beautifully touching sight. That beautiful sight sure did turn into a nerve wrecking one when momma bear stood on her back legs to check me and my cubs out. That  statuesque posture she held while making sure we were not a threat was enough for me to put the petal to the metal and haul ass up the driveway. As beautiful as they are and as mesmerizing as they are to watch from a distance, I wish I don't see any this summer... , did you hear that cute, fluffy bears? Come again another year. Thank you for reading my post, make sure to give it a like and if you really did like it make sure to share. Until next time.